Tomorrow, Today

How would I know what tomorrow will bring?

Isn’t that the exact formula for inducing anxiety? Okay, I was listening to this song by JJ Project called Tomorrow, Today and I just suddenly felt like writing. So, please allow me to do some brain dumping today. Hee. It’s been a while.

Somebody let me know, tell me which way to go

‘Cause I don’t, don’t, don’t know

The first time I heard this song, I immediately liked it. I didn’t know who JJ Project was at that time. The song just suddenly played on my Spotify. But like what I said, I immediately liked it so I didn’t skip to the next song. A few seconds in and I already knew I was going to listen to the song again. And that is what I actually did. The pre-chorus sounded so good and the way it transitioned to the chorus was so smooth that I was instantly sold. Later on, when I searched for the English translation of the lyrics, I cried.

Then I fell in love with the song.

The song is about worrying about the future (tomorrow). It is about the fear of making choices after choices. It is about wondering if someday you will regret the choices you have made today. How everyone keeps asking what you are about to do with your life but not having any idea what to do and where to go yourself. It is about pleading for someone to tell you which way to go.

Weirdly, the song played right now exactly when I was just thinking about what I will be doing tomorrow. We will have a meeting at site but there’s no announcement yet if it will push through. A client just texted me about his unit concern just when I thought that we were already done with it. I have to finish my pending RRFs and COCAs. And go around the site and supervise the ongoing works.

Just thinking about it tires me already. And then it made me think how repetitive my days are. The day after tomorrow, those are the things that I will be doing again. The next day will be the same. And the next. And the next. And the next. Is this what the future looks like? Seems pretty dull to me.

I don’t know how I ended up writing this. I was thinking of writing about trying not to think about tomorrow and just trying to live for today. I was thinking of writing about how good my day went today and how useless it is to dread about tomorrow because you can do nothing about it today. How did I end up being sad about tomorrow?


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