I was talking to a friend some time last month and she told me all these plans she have for herself. Plans like finishing her Masters, taking up teaching units, then eventually taking up LET, then apply as either a teacher in Senior High or as a professor in College. And then she would buy her family a house. She is struggling so much with juggling her day job, and attending her classes, and finishing all the readings and other requirements but she is coping. And I think it is because she knows what she wants to happen. She knows where she wants to go. And she actually have plans on how to get there.
And then there’s little old me who have no idea what she wants to happen in her life. Who doesn’t even know what she will do tomorrow. Who have no goals whatsoever for the future. Nope. Nothing. Nada. It is truly worrying me how I cannot even see myself in the future. I cannot envision myself out there. I sometimes feel like I am never going to get old. Is it weird? Or is it not actually that weird? That not-being-able-to-imagine-yourself-in-the-future part. Am I the only one who feels that way? Or everyone else feel that way?
But seriously, it’s giving me ANXIETY.
I have been thinking so hard about it lately and somehow I surprisingly got into some kind of resolve that I really want to get a grasp of my life already. I’ve been just going with the flow for a while now (which isn’t always and all that bad) but I feel like I am just going in circles and that I am going nowhere. I noticed that I am finding it hard to accomplish even the simplest of daily tasks even though I’ve got so much time in my hands. I have very low productivity. All I want is to just idle and think.
I really don’t like the routine I have fallen into. I want to change things up because I believe that I am the one accountable for whatever is gonna happen in my everyday life. So I decided to try out BuJo.
BuJo or “bullet journaling” is an organizational system which helps in keeping track of everything in one’s life. I believe that there are Apps for this but I have always been someone who likes doing things traditionally so it naturally appealed to me.
So here’s my first week of trying out BuJo. I couldn’t say that it made me productive already but at least it is forcing me to do things I would normally procrastinate with. Like writing on my journal or doing the laundry. It’s like a track record of my daily life which made me realize that my everyday life is really just the same. But now that I know this, I can actually make plans on how to change things up to spice up my life a little. So I guess, it is actually serving it’s purpose? Yes?
I don’t know if I will be able to maintain this kind of journaling because I can’t even keep up with regularly writing on my classic journal a.k.a. diary. But let’s see. Hopefully, accomplishing my short-term goals will lead me to the realization of my long-term goals. Sa ngayon kasi eh yung pag-survive lang sa araw-araw yung plano ko sa buhay eh. Baka naman in the long run magkaroon na ng direksyon ang buhay ko dahil.dito.