I want to rave but I feel like I don’t have the right. But I really am very much obsessed with Dear Evan Hansen for a couple of weeks already so suck it! I know it is probably weird because I haven’t watched the musical as it is in Broadway. But ugh! I wish I live there right now!
So to those who have never crossed paths with Evan Hansen yet, let me do some introduction. And to those who have already been blessed enough to know what I’m going though right now tell me how do I unobsessed? It’s practically impossible!
Dear Evan Hansen is a critically acclaimed Broadway Musical with music and lyrics by Pasek and Paul and a book written by Steven Levenson. It is about Evan Hansen who is suffering from a social anxiety disorder. As part of his therapy, he had to write a letter to himself on how he would have an awesome day.
From their site.
A letter that was never meant to be seen, a lie that was never meant to be told, a life he never dreamed he could have. Evan Hansen is about to get the one thing he’s always wanted: a chance to finally fit in.
You can read a comprehensive outline of the story in Wikipedia. That’s where I read about it. I also like reading Youtube comments on their playlist because some comments came from people who were actually able to watch the musical and they share their experience watching it. Sometimes they give out details that you wouldn’t be able to read anywhere else.
That’s all I can share about the musical because I am not one of those fortunate people who are able to watch it. But poor people like me are blessed enough to have the soundtrack at least. Please read about Dear Evan Hansen. Then you can listen to the soundtrack in here. It’s pretty short. But please do me the favor of locking yourself in a room with your headsets on and put the volume as high as your ears can handle to get the full effect. That’s how I did it. And I’m glad I did!
I have no one to share my obsession with because NoFriends. Hahaha. Huhu. That’s why I’m going to force this on you! Haha. Here are my thoughts about the Dear Evan Hansen Soundtrack.
1. Anybody Have a Map? (2:26)
I love this one. It is basically about two mothers who admits that they don’t know everything about parenting. It’s like a parenting anthem. But also everyone’s truth. Because really! Who knows what they are doing right now?
Favorite lyrics: cause the scary truth is I’m flying blind/ and I’m making this up as I go
2. Waving Through a Window (3:56)
The whole song is a jam. But really. It perfectly conveys the feeling of being socially anxious. And it is beautifully sang. The way Ben Platt sang the repetitive part “when you’re falling in a forest and there’s nobody around do you ever really crash or even make a sound” aaaaah!
Favorite lyrics: on the outside always looking in/ will I ever be more than I’ve always been/ cause I’m tap tap tapping on the glass/ I’m waving through a window/ I try to speak but nobody can hear/ so I wait around for an answer to appear/ while I’m watch watch watching people pass
3. For Forever (5:01)
This is the song that brought me in this situation. I was listening to Dodie Clark’s album on Spotify when this one just suddenly played. I thought it was a really cute friendship song. Later that night I went and researched for it and I was finally introduced to DEH.
This song is not cute. It is a beautiful and painful and magical song. Oh God! The complexity of the situation. The way Evan had to fabricate a story about a perfect day with Connor based on the day when he broke his arm which is the day he actually gave up on his life. And he had to create the story to comfort Connor’s parents and make them believe that Connor actually had a friend. It’s pretty ironic because Evan didn’t have a friend as well. There’s longing in the song. There’s pain. How can I even explain? I cannot! The song is genius! And the way Ben Platt sang it. Especially onto the last part when he belted out “all we see is liiiiiiiiiiight”. It’s the most beautiful thing I think I’ve ever heard in a while! It’s just really, really beautiful! Ben Platt really deserves that Tony Award.
Favorite lyrics: uhm… the whole song?
4. Sincerely, Me (3:42)
This song! I was laughing almost all throughout. I love how this song provided that much needed comic relief in the whole emotional album. But if you think about it, it’s dark humor. When you know the context, everything becomes sad.
Favorite lyrics: if I stop smoking drugs/ then everything might be alright 😂
5. Requiem (4:19)
This one is really sad. The way no one wants to sing a requiem for Connor because he never really had a good relationship with anyone. But in a way they actually sang one for him. I think this song can be really helpful to those people who have to go through that kind of ordeal. You’d understand if someone would not want to mourn for their dead.
Favorite lyrics: why should I play the grieving girl and lie/ saying that I miss you and that my world has gone dark without your light
6. If I Could Tell Her (4:08)
This is basically a love song for Zoe. But Evan sang it as if the words were from Connor. But it’s sweet. The way he notices the little things about Zoe. Also, given that Zoe and Connor never had a good relationship, it was perfectly portrayed how Zoe actually longs for the affection of her brother and will cling on anything that says he actually cared for her.
Favorite lyrics: but he kept it all inside his head/ what he saw he left unsaid/ and though he wanted to/ he couldn’t talk to you/ he couldn’t find a way
7. Disappear (4:36)
This is a song that can be really helpful to someone who feels like no one will ever remember him when he’s gone. I believe this song could lift up your spirits when you are really, really down.
Also Mike Faist everyone.
Favorite lyrics: no one deserves to be forgotten/ no one deserves to fade away/ no one should come and go and no one know he was ever even here/ no one deserves to disappear
8. You Will Be Found (6:01)
I cried when I first listened to this. I was in my room and had my headset on and set the volume really high. This song consumed my very being. I cried again after listening to it a few more times after. This is such a powerful song. It can be a Christian song tbh. I don’t know if I will be okay if I ever get to see the live performance. I would just probably ugly cry and howl in the theatre and I would annoy everyone around me. But despite it being a really hopeful song, when you really think about, it’s still very sad how everything is just a fabrication of stories that never really happened. The underlying story will always get to you.
Favorite lyrics: even when the dark comes crashing through/ when you need a friend to carry you/ when you’re broken on the ground/ you will be found
9. To Break In A Glove (3:50)
Yep! They wrote a song about breaking in a glove. It’s a beautiful song. Quite underrated. But the feels! There’s a dad longing for his son and there’s a son longing for his dad. And seriously, it made me sad even more when I think how Evan took Connor’s place at that moment. And the metaphor in this song though.
Favorite lyrics: it just takes a little patience/ takes a little time/ a little perseverance/ and a little uphill climb/ you might not think it’s worth it/ you might begin to doubt/ but you can’t take any shortcuts/ you gotta stick it out/ it’s the hard way/ but it’s the right way
10. Only Us (3:43)
Ah! This one. I LOVE this. I love Lauren’s voice! I love that Lauren, I mean Zoe, really wanted whatever it is that she and Evan have. That she don’t want it to be about Connor. She wants it to be about them and only them.
Favorite lyrics: what if it’s you and what if it’s me/ and what if that’s all that we needed to be/ and the rest of the world falls away
11. Good For You (3:05)
Ah, the anger and the angst in this song. It’s easy to understand where Evan’s mother is coming from. Jared and Alana though, not much, at first. But then, I read part of the spoken words in the musical when they sang this song and I kind of understood why Jared and Alana felt that way towards Evan.
Favorite lyrics: well I’m sorry I’ve got it rough/ and I’m sorry I’m not enough
12. Words Fail (5:52)
Ah! When everything went down. This is so sad. The way Evan had to painfully admit that everything was just an invention. And why he did it. MY HEART! Especially when Ben Platt started singing the part/ reprise of Waving Through a Window. And when he sang “or will they hate it too”. Dude, you can feel how much Evan hated himself. How much he hated the way he was.
Favorite lyrics: you see everything you wish you had and it’s right there, right there, right there in front of you/ and you want to believe it’s true/ so you make it true
13. So Big/ So Small (4:12)
Another painfully beautiful song. So emotional. The love of a mother. Especially a single-mother. That part when she sang “is there another truck coming to our driveway, a truck that will take mommy away.” That’s just, it showed how hard you can break a very young kid. The fears that a child is harbouring. I cannot not cry when I listen to this. The mother’s acceptance of her shortcomings but her declaration of unconditional love for her child. It’s beautiful!
Favorite lyrics: and I knew there would be moments that I’d miss/ and I knew there would be space I couldn’t fill/ and I knew I’d come up short a million different ways/ and I did/ and I do/ and I will 😭
This is a reprise of For Forever. But I love how they ended it on a really positive note. When Evan spoke about how today is going to be a good day because “today at least you’re you, and that’s enough”. The feels. It brought a smile to my face.
I don’t know why this has affected me in such a way that it is making me cry even after two weeks of the playlist being on the loop in my ears. But I guess I really needed the message that it coveys.
That we are not alone.
And that we are all going to be found.
THANK YOU EVAN HANSEN!
Listen to the whole soundtrack here.