As part of my trying to look at life in a more positive light I have decided to reflect about things that made me happy. You know how they say that our brains are wired to be negative-bias? I think my brain is doing that a lot more than necessary. It’s actually draining. I tried thinking of things that made me happy during the month and practically nothing came to mind. Although I’m pretty sure that I had an okay month. Why you must be like this brain? WHY?
Anyhoo, after consulting my journal, I found out that a lot of things actually made me happy this July. Thank you Journal! You are the proof that my life is not as mundane and dreary as I thought it to be. Thank you! So here we go.
1. Before Series
I came across a clip of this film “Before Sunrise” (1995) when I remembered reading about it on a magazine. I took an interest and I’m so glad I decided to check that film out because it was superb. After watching it I read more about it and found out that there was another film that followed it after nine years called “Before Sunset” (2004). And then it was followed by another movie which was again made after another nine years called “Before Midnight” (2013). The commitment in the series was awesome. What I love the most about the series of films were the intellectual conversations that the main characters, Celine and Jesse had. They were very brain stimulating. And please. Who doesn’t love the idea of walking around the streets of Vienna with a total stranger whom you find to have a strong connection with? If you haven’t watched the series of films yet, please do! My personal favorite is the last installment “Before Midnight”. It was heavy and so real. And just beautiful. Go watch it.
2. Dodie Clark
I was on YouTube when I came across this video of Doddlevloggle titled “I am Depressed Today”. Yay! Fun right? I’m not depressed (hopefully). I’m saying I’m not because I’m not medically diagnosed and people might raise their eyebrows at me or tell me I’m just looking for attention or tell me that I’m just making it all up because THEY THINK THEY KNOW WHAT I AM FEELING. That I’m just “maarte” and self-absorb. Even though I am the one who have been struggling with keeping my emotions and my moods in check since I was in College. So nope. I’m not depressed. I don’t want to be depressed. I’ve never been to a psychiatrist and it’s not advisable to self-diagnose but I can relate so much in that video of Dodie. So, let’s talk about Dodie.
I love her. I love how she can freely talk about her mental condition on her Youtube Channel, even on her Instagram and I love how her condition does not limit her creativity and her life. Like, yes, she has bad days but she continues to fight her demons and create content and write songs and make music. And speaking of music, her Intertwined EP is everything. And her other songs too. I am obsessed with her video where she was singing an original song of hers called “Would You Be So Kind” with her friends on a tour bus. They were just so happy jamming to the song and it’s honestly the cutest thing ever. It never fails to give me good vibes. I just end up jamming to them myself whenever I watch it. I am listening to it while writing this.
It’s probably not healthy but who would not spazz if the person you adore liked a painting you made of him/ her. #NoticedBySenpai moment it is. This month I was noticed by Tricia Gosingtian, Derrick Freske and Jerry Maestas. And it’s awesome as hell!
4. Social Media Detox
In a spur of the moment decision a day before June ended; I deactivated my Facebook account, deleted my Tumblr account (which I’ve had for seven years), and deleted Twitter app on my phone. I was at a low point and I just wanted to delete myself in the Internet (and the world if possible) or any traces of me in here. I had to do a double take though on deleting my Instagram because it was something that I had deliberately curated and I can’t do that to myself and to the artists friends I’ve made in there. So that stayed. The rest, begone.
And it was actually nice to get off from most social media accounts. I thought I would have some kind of withdrawal but I did not. Maybe I missed Twitter a little because that is where I put all the random thoughts I had. But I decided to just actually write those thoughts down instead of putting it out in the world. I was able to spend more time making art and writing and actually thinking. I was also able to make some crafts and read books. It’s a nice break. Very nice.
5. Thai Novice Crush
I haven’t had a real person to crush on for years already (not that Korean stars aren’t real people but you get my drift) so it’s nice to actually get myself a happy crush. I haven’t met any crush-able persons in the past years. Where are you guys hiding? Haha. So, my happy crush at the moment is a Junior Novice at the church I’m attending to. First time to have a crush in a while and it end up being someone who’s on his way to becoming a priest. Nice one Krishel. So, I haven’t really had a lot of chance of seeing him, their schedules in service were very random, so it’s always such a nice surprise to see him unexpectedly on church days. I’ve actually only seen him thrice in July now that I think about it. (And who’s counting? Uhm, me!) But he never failed in bringing a smile to my face. Anyway, it’s just a happy crush. And he looks so much younger than me. He’s going to become a priest one day I hope. Oh how good will he look wearing an alb! Cute!
One afternoon, I went outside to take a photo of a pink sky when a very excited father of mine started calling me and my mother because apparently there was a rainbow on the other part of the sky. It was a perfect arch rainbow against the very pink sky and it looked so wonderful. Before I can take a photo of it though the rainbow started fading. But the happy expressions I saw on my parents’ faces upon seeing the rainbow was better than the rainbow against the pink sky.
7. Reading a Good Book
I read this really nice book by Chris Colfer called Struck by Lightning and I just had so many realizations upon reading it. One of Carson’s thoughts that struck me the most was his epiphany that maybe he’s too much focusing on self-pity that he had forgotten how much he had already achieved. I so needed that.
8. “Kita Kita”
“Kita Kita” (I See You) is a Filipino film starring Alessandra de Rossi and Empoy Marquez. I really wanted to watch it when I first heard of it because it looked interesting and different. Suddenly though there’s so much hype about the movie that I felt like not watching it anymore. But my genuine interest on it won me over my fear of its hype. I watched it and I’m so happy that I did not let the hype totally deter me away from it. It’s so good. I wish more directors could produce films as beautiful as Kita Kita.
9. Job Interview
After months and months I finally got a call. Nope, I’m not hired YET. But it’s a start. And it was so nice to talk to fellow engineers who are also seeking jobs. Our work and life experiences are so diverse that it opened my mind more to the intricacies of life. Thank God, I disregarded my fear of making small talks. I had some of the most interesting conversations with random people in a while that day.And there goes my July. Not an adventure filled one but a pretty steady one.
So, how about you guys, what made you smile this July? What made your month?